


'Til the Heavens Stop the Rain

by celeste9



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Winchester Can See Castiel's Wings, Episode Related, Episode: s15e20 Carry On, Hopeful Ending, Hugs, M/M, Missing Scene, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:01:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27746401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celeste9/pseuds/celeste9
Summary: The day Dean Winchester arrives in Heaven is just like any other day. Trumpets don’t sound, or anything like that. Castiel doesn’t feel it, doesn’t sense it. He only turns around and sees Dean standing there, leaning against the hood of the Impala.
Relationships: Castiel & Jack Kline, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 18
Kudos: 211





	'Til the Heavens Stop the Rain

**Author's Note:**

> My take on the inevitable Dean and Cas meet in Heaven fic trope! The title is from the Doors, I couldn't resist.

When Castiel wakes up outside the Empty, it doesn’t feel like it did before. It feels like warmth.

He blinks his eyes open to bright sunlight, so bright that he shades his eyes with his forearm. The ground is faintly giving beneath his back, like he is on dirt rather than something manmade. When his vision clears, he finds himself looking up into a familiar face.

“Jack?”

“Hi, Cas,” Jack says, extending his hand to haul Castiel to his feet. His smile rivals the sun and as soon as they are both on their feet, he squeezes Castiel into a breath-stopping hug.

Castiel lays his hand on the back of Jack’s neck, his fingers lightly stroking through his hair, and lets Jack have whatever he needs, lets himself have what he needs. “It’s okay, Jack,” he murmurs. “It’s okay.”

He politely ignores the hitching sob of Jack’s breath. “I missed you.”

“I know. I missed you, too. I’m… I’m sorry,” he says, knowing it’s inadequate, but it feels like the right thing to say.

Jack draws back and Castiel also ignores the redness of his eyes and blotchiness of his cheeks. “I couldn’t let you stay there.”

So that answers that, and it isn’t exactly unexpected. Still, though, Castiel has to ask, “How?”

The smile returns to Jack’s face. “Let me tell you a story.”

-

So Castiel is in Heaven, which is… unexpected. His remaining brothers and sisters are avoiding him, which is less so, perhaps especially because he has realized that he is now, in a sense, God’s father. When he thinks about that, the words always reverberate in his mind in Dean’s voice. _Dude,_ Dean says. _You’re God’s old man. It’s like some Back to the Future shit almost._

It makes Castiel smile, before it starts to ache.

He tries not to think about Dean too much, even as he and Jack set to rebuilding Heaven into something different, something better. He has beers with Bobby on the porch he built and looks over at where he plans Dean’s house to be and only lets himself think that there isn’t a need to rush because Dean won’t need a place here for a long, long while. Bobby pats his shoulder with quiet understanding and Castiel thinks it was worth it, it was worth it because Dean lived. Dean gets to live. Even if he had never escaped the Empty it would have been worth it.

And because of Dean, Jack is here, and Cas is here, and there will be a place waiting for him when he arrives. A place where he can be with the people he loves, even if that won’t include Castiel.

Because he isn’t quite sure it will. He never expected… It wasn’t about that, and maybe it was easier to say because he knew he wouldn’t have to face the consequences, he knew he would never hear Dean’s answer. _It’s something I know I can’t have._ And that was okay. He had Dean’s friendship, and that was enough. The problem is that he doesn’t know if Dean will be able to think of him the same if he knows that… if he knows. He does know now.

Castiel tells himself it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if Dean can’t look at him, can’t be around him. It only matters that Dean is happy. So he dedicates himself to this place, to Heaven, to building a place for Dean. There’s a lake like the one in Dean’s dreams, and endless roads for him to drive down. Bobby will be here, and John and Mary just there, and on the other side of the lake is the roadhouse, down the path from Charlie. There will be room for Jody and Claire and Alex and Donna, and they’re working on a way to help Kevin.

So he isn’t actually all that good at not thinking about Dean.

Once he sits outside in the dirt in front of what will be Dean’s house as rain gently falls from the sky. He and Jack discussed whether there should even be rain, and decided that it feels more real if there is. They want it to be perfect, but also to be real. Castiel thinks maybe the real is more important than the perfect.

He doesn’t notice Jack has joined him until he says, “You know I told Sam and Dean that I would be in the rainfall.”

Castiel eyes him sideways. “You what?”

Jack shrugs and shifts a little. “I thought it sounded like what I should say.”

Castiel’s small laugh is just a huff of breath. “Mysterious?”

“Yeah. I mean… I did become God. Kind of. So I wanted to…” Jack hesitates. “But I’m still me, and I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Jack’s knee is warm beneath Castiel’s hand. “You’re doing good, Jack. And if you have to make up most of it as you go, well… That’s just the Winchester way.”

Jack beams at him. “Thanks, Cas.”

They sit quietly together, the rain flattening their hair and sliding down their faces. It’s nice, in a weird way. Castiel wonders what Dean is doing, if he’s happy.

Then Jack says, “He was sad, you know.”

“Who was?”

“Dean.” Jack fills the silence as Castiel’s breath catches. “I know you don’t think… But he was sad. He misses you.”

“I don’t want him to…” Castiel bites his lip. “I want him to have a life, not be sad.” That wasn’t the point.

“No, I know. And he does. But I thought you should know that he was sad, because you were important to him. You were still important to him. I think you need to know that.”

Castiel doesn’t know what to say, his insides twisting in discomfort. How could Jack even know? He can’t know. He knows Dean would never have told anyone, would never have said it out loud, what Cas had confessed. How could Jack know?

He only says, “Thank you, Jack.”

He can’t stop thinking about it, and wishes he could.

-

The day Dean Winchester arrives in Heaven is just like any other day. Trumpets don’t sound, or anything like that. Castiel doesn’t feel it, doesn’t sense it. He only turns around and sees Dean standing there, leaning against the hood of the Impala.

Castiel’s first thought is that he needs to be far from here. He needs to run. He can be gone in an instant, now that he can fly again. He won’t need to hear Dean reject him, actually hear Dean say, _I don’t feel that way about you, Cas,_ or, so much worse, see Dean close up and withdraw from him.

His second thought is, _please, no._

_No,_ Castiel thinks. _No. He can’t be here. It’s too soon._ Without really meaning to, he says, “I only just finished your corner of Heaven.”

Dean’s smile is faint and crooked. “That’s what I get? Not even a, ‘hello, Dean’?”

Castiel can’t help it. His startled distress wavers to fondness because it’s Dean, Dean is here, and Dean apparently still wants to talk to him even after… Even after…

So he says, “Hello, Dean.”

The creases at the corners of Dean’s eyes deepen when his smile grows. “That’s more like it. You’d think a guy would get a better welcome in Heaven, after all. From an angel, no less.”

“I wasn’t expecting to see you,” is all Castiel can make himself say. _Not yet._

Dean’s smile fades again. “I could say the same to you. I mean, I guess I hoped… But Jack didn’t say… And I thought maybe it was… Maybe he couldn’t…” He clears his throat. “I’ve gotta say, that was a hell of an exit, and I don’t mean that in a good way. That was a dick move, Cas.”

Castiel can’t quite meet Dean’s eyes. He looks at the blue sky, at the way the leaves flutter in the breeze. “It seemed like a good idea in the moment.”

Dean snorts. “You always think your ideas are good in the moment.”

“I suppose that’s fair.”

They stand watching each other and Castiel finds himself thinking how good Dean looks. He looks like the weight is gone, the heaviness, the pressure, and maybe it isn’t time, maybe he didn’t get the long and full life Cas wanted for him, but there is contentment in him that Castiel thought he would never see.

That’s certainly worth something.

He still doesn’t look precisely happy, though, as his eyes track over Cas. Castiel knows his hair is messy and his suit is rumpled and he thinks he would have liked to look more… Well, more _something_ for this reunion, but perhaps it’s fitting that he looks merely like he always did. Like himself. Or the himself that Dean knows.

There is a tightness to Dean’s expression, to the set of his jaw, and Castiel again feels the urge to run. He wishes he knew what Dean was thinking. He doesn’t have long to wonder, though, because Dean says, “Don’t ever fucking do that again.”

Castiel doesn’t need to ask what Dean means. For a second he thinks about defending his choice but then he decides he has already said everything he needed to back in that room. So he just says, “Considering we’re both in Heaven now, it seems unlikely I’ll need to.”

“You giant dick,” Dean says, and then he’s closed the distance between them to pull Castiel into a hug.

For a moment that seems to stretch and stretch and stretch, Castiel simply stands there, feeling Dean’s arms around him, so tight it might hurt if he were human. He can feel the warring of Dean’s emotions, the anger, the desperation, the guilt, the relief, the gratitude, all of it, so much to contain, but then, Dean has always been too much to contain.

Castiel is sure he can’t deserve this, and certainly thought he would never have it. Finally he just lets himself give in, because this is Heaven, the Heaven he built with Jack, the Heaven good people like Dean deserve, and Dean is here. Dean is _here._

He can’t quite stop himself from pressing his face into the crook of Dean’s neck, from breathing in the comfortable, familiar smell of him, leather and guns and soap and the scent of his skin. Dean would call it creepy, he suspects, like when he used to call Castiel out for watching him sleep early in their acquaintance, but then, Dean isn’t pulling away so he can’t be that bothered.

Then he shivers, because… no, that can’t be. It can’t.

“Your wings,” Dean says, his tone colored in disbelief. “You have your wings. They’re beautiful.” He runs his fingers down them once more and Castiel shivers with his whole body.

He steps back, and Dean’s hand remains outstretched for a second before he lets it fall. They stare at each other.

“You can’t see my wings,” Castiel says. “You can’t. Even here, you cannot interact with any part of my true form. It would overwhelm you.” And yet… Castiel _felt_ it. He felt Dean’s hands on him.

Dean shrugs. “I don’t know, man. They’re just… there. They’re huge.” He smirks faintly.

Castiel is boggled. “That’s not… that’s not possible.”

“Since when has a Winchester ever let impossible stop them?”

The words sink into the air between them and Castiel shakes his wings behind him. Dean reaches out again. Castiel doesn’t stop him.

The touch feels as though it sets every part of Castiel on fire, every cell alight. It is intimate, too intimate, and he doesn’t think Dean knows… Dean can’t understand… It is hard to keep his eyes open but through slitted lids Castiel watches Dean watching him, and he thinks Dean does know, or at least Dean suspects.

This is… this is…

Castiel moves back again. Dean seems less certain of himself.

“So,” Dean says in a clear attempt to break the mood. “Bobby tells me you and Jack have been busy.”

“I built you a house.”

Dean’s mouth quirks. “Yeah. I saw.”

“Is it…” Castiel tries not to show how anxious he is for Dean’s approval but isn’t sure he succeeds. “Is it acceptable?”

“Yeah, Cas. Yeah, it’s acceptable. It’s…” Dean waves his hand vaguely towards their surroundings. “It’s not a bad place to be, if you’re, you know. Dead.”

Castiel bites back his wince. “How…”

“Hunting.” Dean’s chuckle is dry. “Always knew I’d go that way. And it’s, I guess, well. It’s okay.”

“Is it?” Because Castiel isn’t certain he agrees.

“It is, Cas, I promise. It’s not really what I wanted? But I’m okay with it. I went out on my own terms, no grand plan, and I was helping someone. So I’m okay.”

Castiel doesn’t know if he should ask but he can’t stop himself. “Sam?”

“Sam is…” Dean swallows. “It doesn’t hurt the way I thought it would, you know? Because I know he’ll be here with me, and I’ve heard time doesn’t so much matter here. But I’m… I don’t like thinking about him down there, you know? Because I know how it feels to… I know how it feels…” Dean stops, clearly unable to finish.

Fortunately Castiel understands what he can’t say. “It is difficult for the ones left behind.”

“Yeah. That’s one way to put it.” He is very pointedly staring at Castiel.

The intensity of his gaze makes Castiel want to fidget, to squirm like a child being scolded. “You saved the world, Dean. I think the cost of my life was worth it.”

Dean exhales. “Guess it’d be hypocritical of me to keep going after you for sacrificing yourself.”

“Probably, yes.”

Dean extends his arm to squeeze Castiel’s shoulder. “Don’t get me wrong, this new Heaven, it’s great. But the best thing Jack did was pull you out of that place.”

“I’m glad you think so.” Castiel’s gaze drops down to Dean’s mouth, and then back to his eyes, and then guiltily he looks away. It’s weird. He’s made it weird. The urge to run is stronger than ever and his wings twitch behind him in anticipation.

Except Dean doesn’t let go and though there’s a pinkish twinge on his cheekbones he claims Castiel’s gaze solidly. “I’m not saying no, Cas. I’m not saying yes, either, but I’m not… I’m not saying no.”

Castiel gapes for what feels an interminable amount of time but is likely only a few seconds. “Dean…”

“You just gotta give me a little time. Okay? What you said, it was… It was a lot. I need some time.” Dean’s hand slides up to the back of Castiel’s neck and he grips him there, preventing Cas from breaking his gaze. “You’re my best friend. Okay?”

Castiel can feel the smile that spreads across his face, wondering and amazed. “Okay.”

“Good.” Dean squeezes his neck and then lets go. He steps back and looks around them, the winding mountain road, the trees with branches that creak in the wind, the sun that shines down. A bird is calling.

Warmth spreads through Castiel’s body, stronger than his grace. He has more than he ever dreamed possible and he can’t quite process it, not yet. He has time. Right now, he just knows that he has Dean, always, and it doesn’t matter how.

Dean turns around and smiles. “Let’s go for a drive, Cas.”

**_End_ **


End file.
